Qualities: SELF-CONFIDENCE
Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.
––Samuel Johnson
Unshakable confidence is the sense of certainty we all want. The only way you can consistently experience confidence, even in environments and situations you’ve never previously encountered, is through the power of faith. Imagine and feel certain about the emotions you deserve to have now, rather than wait for them to spontaneously appear someday in the far distant future. When you’re confident, you’re willing to experiment, to put yourself on the line.
––Anthony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within, 1991
Truly confident people:
Are positive thinkers (Mental)
Feel great about themselves (Emotional)
Are results oriented (Behavioral)
Surround themselves with supportive people (Relational)
Have a focused purpose and mission (Spiritual)
––Tim Ursiny, PhD, The Confidence Plan, 2005
Self-confidence is a tremendous jet engine and sense of direction inside you that overcomes all kinds of barriers to success that would otherwise end your dream.
––John Roberts
Self-confidence is a habit built on many foundations, over many years. It is built by learning to walk, on playing fields, in classrooms, with people, and inside your own changing attitudes. Then, when great challenges come, you are ready. You can build your confidence in specific situations, like public speaking, by practice, by reading, by learning vocabulary, by learning techniques, by becoming an expert in what you are talking about. And, confidence built in one situation seems to carry over to others. So, you look for multiple opportunities to take on challenges and raise your level of achievement.
A fighter pilot is nothing if not self-confident. It is just as essential to mission success as the mental and physical skill of flying the airplane. I never felt fear in combat, even when the burning tracers of death missed me by visible inches. That was not because I was a brave hero; I was no different from all those I flew with, the whole fighter pilot profession. It was because I was so well-trained that I had supreme self-confidence in my ability to do the job, and because I was so well-motivated by that self-confidence that I would not allow fear to interfere. I had almost complete control over my emotions, and always have since then. There have been times when I was overconfident, to my detriment, but I’ll take it.
As parents, teachers and leaders, we suffer anguish when we see our charges literally suffering from a lack of confidence. It is not something instantly remedied. It takes time to build, and the absence of that training in the formative years may be difficult to correct. It cannot be forced, so there is magic in the way an understanding parent or coach can instill confidence through patient explanation and exposure to challenge. The importance of being part of a supportive group is obvious.
It is useful to think of how the brain builds new neurons and connectivity and grows new attitudes and emotions through reinforced experience. Some children seem to be energetic explorers and risk-takers from birth. But, even the crib is a challenging playground, and we are learning how to enhance the experience of the early years when the changes and growth are the easiest. Let us never forget how the comfort of being loved enables so much else.
Many qualities require time to build. Integrity is the habit of a lifetime, but it is also easy for some to decide to follow well-known rules. Self-confidence is not something created by decision. It must be developed by repeated exercise and the development of the skills that serve as its foundation. We must also accept who we are, that there are limits on what we can build in ourselves. But, that must be accompanied by optimism, not pessimism.
The twin qualities of self-respect and self-confidence are central to the character of the individual who wishes to leave a mark on a world that prefers not to reward weakness and mediocrity. One can survive standing in the shallows, eating minnows, but the big fish, the fighters, dominate in rough oceans. Some of them even crawled up onto the land and became the dominant species among thousands. It just takes time and practice, and eternal self-confidence.
Recommended Reading:
Tim Ursiny, PhD, The Confidence Plan: How to Build a Stronger You. Naperville, IL: Sourcebooks, 2005, 296 pp.
Seligman, Martin, Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your life. New York: Pocket Books, 1998. Audio CD available.
––Samuel Johnson
Unshakable confidence is the sense of certainty we all want. The only way you can consistently experience confidence, even in environments and situations you’ve never previously encountered, is through the power of faith. Imagine and feel certain about the emotions you deserve to have now, rather than wait for them to spontaneously appear someday in the far distant future. When you’re confident, you’re willing to experiment, to put yourself on the line.
––Anthony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within, 1991
Truly confident people:
Are positive thinkers (Mental)
Feel great about themselves (Emotional)
Are results oriented (Behavioral)
Surround themselves with supportive people (Relational)
Have a focused purpose and mission (Spiritual)
––Tim Ursiny, PhD, The Confidence Plan, 2005
Self-confidence is a tremendous jet engine and sense of direction inside you that overcomes all kinds of barriers to success that would otherwise end your dream.
––John Roberts
Self-confidence is a habit built on many foundations, over many years. It is built by learning to walk, on playing fields, in classrooms, with people, and inside your own changing attitudes. Then, when great challenges come, you are ready. You can build your confidence in specific situations, like public speaking, by practice, by reading, by learning vocabulary, by learning techniques, by becoming an expert in what you are talking about. And, confidence built in one situation seems to carry over to others. So, you look for multiple opportunities to take on challenges and raise your level of achievement.
A fighter pilot is nothing if not self-confident. It is just as essential to mission success as the mental and physical skill of flying the airplane. I never felt fear in combat, even when the burning tracers of death missed me by visible inches. That was not because I was a brave hero; I was no different from all those I flew with, the whole fighter pilot profession. It was because I was so well-trained that I had supreme self-confidence in my ability to do the job, and because I was so well-motivated by that self-confidence that I would not allow fear to interfere. I had almost complete control over my emotions, and always have since then. There have been times when I was overconfident, to my detriment, but I’ll take it.
As parents, teachers and leaders, we suffer anguish when we see our charges literally suffering from a lack of confidence. It is not something instantly remedied. It takes time to build, and the absence of that training in the formative years may be difficult to correct. It cannot be forced, so there is magic in the way an understanding parent or coach can instill confidence through patient explanation and exposure to challenge. The importance of being part of a supportive group is obvious.
It is useful to think of how the brain builds new neurons and connectivity and grows new attitudes and emotions through reinforced experience. Some children seem to be energetic explorers and risk-takers from birth. But, even the crib is a challenging playground, and we are learning how to enhance the experience of the early years when the changes and growth are the easiest. Let us never forget how the comfort of being loved enables so much else.
Many qualities require time to build. Integrity is the habit of a lifetime, but it is also easy for some to decide to follow well-known rules. Self-confidence is not something created by decision. It must be developed by repeated exercise and the development of the skills that serve as its foundation. We must also accept who we are, that there are limits on what we can build in ourselves. But, that must be accompanied by optimism, not pessimism.
The twin qualities of self-respect and self-confidence are central to the character of the individual who wishes to leave a mark on a world that prefers not to reward weakness and mediocrity. One can survive standing in the shallows, eating minnows, but the big fish, the fighters, dominate in rough oceans. Some of them even crawled up onto the land and became the dominant species among thousands. It just takes time and practice, and eternal self-confidence.
Recommended Reading:
Tim Ursiny, PhD, The Confidence Plan: How to Build a Stronger You. Naperville, IL: Sourcebooks, 2005, 296 pp.
Seligman, Martin, Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your life. New York: Pocket Books, 1998. Audio CD available.
posted by John Roberts @ 11:30 AM
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