Qualities: LOVE II

Passion makes the world go round. Love just makes it a safer place.
––Ice-T, 1994

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds.
––Shakespeare, Sonnet 116

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude.
Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
It does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
––The Bible: 1 Corinthians

You cannot truly love a person unless you truly love and absorb the whole world, in all its diversity and faults and mystery and inexhaustible passion. Love in isolation is no more than a brief experience on an icy moon, removed from the light and warmth of the sun.
––John Roberts

Love includes, but is not to be confused with, the chemical-induced attraction that all creatures have in order to reproduce. Human love requires the support and extension derived from many other qualities on our list of admirable traits. Consider a few:

UNDERSTANDING: It is said that men need respect and women need to be cherished. Men have those fragile egos and cultural requirements of manhood to fill their classic role of dinosaur killer and alpha male decision-maker that the group requires. Women need to know they are protected and are wise enough to recognize when the male attitude grows to the recognition that the female is his greatest treasure. That intense loyalty earns the two-way partnership of genuine love. The man or woman who works to understand the needs of the other, not just superficial security, shopping, flattery and toleration, but the sincere psychic and emotional needs that lie unfulfilled in the heart of everyone. Understand what those are, particular to the individual, and you go a long way to achieving success in creating the loving and lasting relationship. And, if you understand the intensity of those needs, you may then understand why the person places a lower priority on lesser offerings that the bidder deems essential and sufficiently tempting, like money or good looks or an artfully constructed personality.

LEADERSHIP: True leaders of a group convince their followers that one of the primary responsibilities and satisfactions of leadership is a form of love for those in their care. With that emotional feeling and bond established, the followers know that the vision and goals that they are being asked to support are in their best interests. Leaders can go all day explaining the logic and rationale for action, but they will not generate enthusiastic action until they convey their sincere feeling of benevolence.

BRAIN: Love begins in the brain, building strong neuron connections that generate the electrical and chemical reactions that cause emotions. That means, over the years, reinforcing those positive memories and feelings that will support and last long beyond the mating instinct. And, just as important, it means intentionally avoiding the negative thoughts of imperfections and hurtful actions so that those neuron paths will wither away from lack of use. You can, literally, construct a new brain over a lifetime of controlled thought. Each neuron, each pathway, each emotion or rational thought, will grow stronger or weaker according to the repetition and intensity of use. Love can be built or destroyed.